Today I cooked, a lot, and left a huge mess. Is it weird that I still feel the need to clean up because I'm afraid he will come into the kitchen and complain about it for 15 minutes straight without taking a breath? I would give ANYTHING to hear that complaining right now. Maybe if I just make a huge enough "pig-pen" Paige mess that would aggravate him so much and force him to come back and yell at me. Sometimes, like right now, the pain of missing certain things he would do or say hurts so bad and I know nothing could console it besides being able to hear his voice. I have always heard people say they would give anything to talk to someone just one more time but I really understand that now and I've never wanted anything as badly as the ability to have one last conversation with him... one last hug and kiss... one last "you save over five hundred dooollars!". His characteristics dwell inside my head on days like these and the absence of them just makes certain days unbearable.