And so we start another year without you in it....been thinking about you a lot and been able to smile a lot more lately. I think that's what you would want, but I hope you don't think it means I miss you any less. 2010 taught me to be grateful for what IS great about life and not to dwell on the bad. Its hard to do, and I still find myself butting heads with God, the universe, whatever it is we are supposed to believe in. I read a book called Charlie St Cloud and whether it be true or not, it shed a lot of light on where YOU are at right now. I hope that the way things were described in the book are the way things really are. I hope you are in all your glory where you are, enjoying yourself, but I also hope that you are "everywhere." I want to believe in those signs and to open my mind and maybe for once let it all sink in. Maybe 2011 can be that year...I am hoping you can help me along the way. Never ever think, that for a second my smile represents the fact that I am healed, or over losing you. Surely, you can see that my heart holds all the true feelings and emotions I am going through. I miss you and I love you and I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.... Love always, Jessica