I can't help running through the happenings of this week a year ago. I am pretty positive that the last time I saw you was the day after I came home from the hospital with Leah, so 10/10/09. I have a message on my answering machine saved that you left on 10/19/09...I had visitors for the baby and didn't get a chance to get to it, and I think I remember saying I'd call you back when I saw your # on the caller ID. In hindsight, as much as I wish I took the call and chatted with you, I am happy I got to save the sound of your voice. And then the last time I spoke to you...I remember the conversation...it was on 10/22/09, the day before you died. I wanted you to come back over to see the girls and visit with Grandma, but you were still not feeling good. I remember telling you to stay away until you were 100% better because of the baby. Little did I know I would never see you again! No matter how much time passes, I am still in shock over the fact that you are gone. I am trying to grow accustomed to life without you...maybe I am not totally ready to do that yet, but its all just very painful. I just miss you! I miss your voice and your laughter. I miss your presence and Croft Court. I miss our conversations even if they were sometimes too long and about nothing important at all. I miss my dad. I hate feeling like a part of me is gone...that I have to live forever knowing it won't ever be replaced. I think I have done a pretty good job in "going on" with my life, especially for the girls, but there is still not a moment that I do not think about you. Please watch over me, your girls, grandma and Uncle Mikie especially in the next few days...we are all missing you and I am sure they are feeling it more so right now knowing that a year since you left us is approaching. I hope that in this year, you have found peace. That you are happy and healthy and enjoying what we are supposed to believe is eternal life. Don't ever forget that I love you and miss you!!